Darn Nestle! They're taking after Enfamil - Getting mamas to do their work

Please mommy bloggers, especially if you breastfeed, stop allowing these big companies to use YOU as their way to get more moms to stop breastfeeding.

Earlier in June reports came out that indicated most women don't meet their OWN breastfeeding goals. This isn't my goal for them. This isn't the government's goal for them. This is THEIR goals. So STOP helping Nestle (AKA Gerber) and Enfamil promote their products. This promotion type (direct to moms) is against the World Health Organization's code on marketing of breastmilk substitutes.

One stat said,
"More than 85% of new moms said they intended to breastfeed for three months or longer, but just 32.4% met their mark."


Many have stopped before they left the hospital. Formula companies are in almost all hospitals in the US, leaving samples to moms before they can even see a lactation consultant.

I posted earlier about Enfamil... but now I see people are doing the same for Gerber (which is really Nestle').

Yes, I will continue to stop following any mom blog who shows up with one of these promos in my news feed.

Again, MOMs have goals and these posts do not help them get there. 

I am opinionated and an attached parent, but we can be friends

I am opinionated. I am an attachment parent. I do judge. If you claim you don't judge... pfft, give it up. We all judge. BUT, I don't claim to know what's going on in your life and I can't tell you what to do.

What's the right parenting choice?

While I know breastfeeding is best for baby (and great for mom), I realize that for some families breastfeeding doesn't work out. It doesn't mean I think "oh okay, don't breastfeed, it doesn't matter for public health anyway" - it means I understand we all have different things going on. So, when I see a baby with a bottle. I try to assume the baby is getting donor milk or the mom had issues and not enough support. But, I won't try to pretend I don't know that most women aren't breastfeeding in the US at 3 months, much less the minimum of 12 months that the AAP recommends (or 2 years the WHO recommends). I don't feel bad for the babies or anything like that. I know we are all trying to do what we think is best. Now, when I see a baby in a stroller, with a propped bottle and the mom walks away while shopping in a store... Try tell me not to judge. I'll generally stick around to make sure baby is okay and if mom is gone for a while I may give a stink eye, but otherwise... I try not to do what I want to do and bring baby over to mom and say "uh, it looks like you forgot someone."  But, we all have our moments, right :)

While I know baby wearing is great for baby's development, attachment and that too much time in a flat position is not good for a newborn's breathing or head (um flat heads!), I don't assume that a mom who is pushing their baby in a stroller is a bad mom. I'm sure there are days when they are handling things better than me, even though my oldest wasn't in a stroller until 18 old and I was pregnant enough to make babywearing a bit uncomfortable (okay, my husband put her in one for a picture and my mom put her in one when we visited when she was 15ish months old), but the point is... Yes I have  a stroller. My au pair uses it more than I do (hint, I have an au pair which means I am a working mom... on vacation day today), but you will see me heading to the park with a stroller... usually with more stuff and no kids, but it is what it is. And yes, I did have my au pair babywearing...

Kids need you!

While I know that kids (especially babies!) need their moms, I also work, so attachment parenting works well (and is probably very important!) so that when I'm not working I have that early bond going. I can re-attach (and they latch :) ) but for our family this is what we have now. Go ahead and judge me! I am secure with what I do.. and you, as a mom, need to as well. You are doing what you can do with what you have NOW, that's what matters. So, while I type this, my daughter is dancing in front of the TV and my son is enjoying playdoh. (and this will be very much unedited because I want to get this posted AND help my son get a nap and today he gets to nurse for a nap, a treat for two year old with a working mama!)

Are all my friends just like me?

But, I have friends who spank. I have friends who do not question the current vaccine schedule. I have friends who bottle feed. I have friends who circumcise. If you do what you have to do and you don't question me nursing my preschooler, than we're good to go. It just HAPPENs to be that most of my friends make a lot of the same decisions as I do, but not all of them... we all do what we can with the information and energy we have at that moment.


Life happens people. Being a parent isn't always easy and if my choices make you think I'm judging you... let it be! I'm sure you're judging me when I grab a soda with my organic groceries too!

Attention Mommy Bloggers: I am not mommy enough blog hop

In regard to Time's cover article, "Are you Mom Enough," this blog hop is an attempt to take down walls between moms. Yes, I breastfeed my 4 year old AND 2 year old. No, I did not intend to do it going in... and in fact, I do not expect anyone else to do the same. What we do need is more support among moms. Moms who do their research and figure out what works well for their family (including baby's needs too!) have it hard enough. As a very trying to be attached mom.. I don't NEED to be mom enough! I just need to be able to parent as best as I can without media sensationalizing something natural!

So I am not mommy enough. Are you?

So, if you ARE NOT Mommy Enough, Join this Blog Hop for Saturday, May 11, 2012... and then, on Mother's day (here in the US), the 13th, let's all come together, smile at each other. Whether it is a mom struggling at the store to keep the bottle of Five Hour Energy from their 2 year old's hands (That was me today, trying to find Time Magazine!) or it is a mom breastfeeding her four year old at the park. Smile and know that we're all in this together. Even if we are choosing different paths.

Blog Hop Rules:

- Mommy Blogs
- Link to a post that includes something POSITIVE about honest parenting
- You can include a post of you breastfeeding your toddler/preschooler/other kiddo.

Click below on the "Click here to enter" to enter your "I am not Mommy Enough" blog to this blog hop. 

Share and show love to your fellow mommy bloggers!

CDC or WHO Growth Scales - Watch your baby not the scale

Watch your baby, not the scale
Watch your baby, not other babies
Watch your baby, not some blog :)

Really moms, please know that every baby is different. If you are worried about your baby's development, than likely most of this post doesn't apply to you. But for most of us, our babies are all individually developing on their own scale and to think of percentiles too much, especially when most pediatricians are using the extremely out-dated and (especially for breastfed babies) irrelevant scales created by the CDC.

My two "underweight" kids. Both thriving. Both breastfed. Both born of a short mom and a thin dad of East Asian descent. Because you know... genetics matter....

Why is this? Perhaps because even the CDC recommends using the WHO forms. They recommend this update because:

"Healthy breastfed infants typically gain weight faster than formula-fed infants in the first few months of life but then gain weight more slowly for the remainder of infancy (25,26). Therefore, in the first few months of life, WHO curves show a faster rate of weight gain than the CDC charts for boys and girls (Figures 2 and 3). Use of the WHO charts in the United States might lead to an increase in the misperception of poor growth at this age." (CDC)

So basically today's overweight (mostly) white Americans adults were the formula (fattened) babies we are comparing our (increasingly) breastfed babies, many of whom aren't white.


Simplified their reasoning includes:

• The WHO standards establish growth of the breastfed infant as the norm for growth.
  Breastfeeding is the recommended standard for infant feeding. The WHO charts reflect growth patterns among children who were predominantly breastfed for at least 4 months and still breastfeeding at 12 months.
• The WHO standards provide a better description of physiological growth in infancy.
  Clinicians often use the CDC growth charts as standards on how young children should grow. However the CDC growth charts are references; they identify how typical children in the US did grow during a specific time period. Typical growth patterns may not be ideal growth patterns. The WHO growth charts are standards; they identify how children should grow when provided optimal conditions.
• The WHO standards are based on a high-quality study designed explicitly for creating growth charts.
  The WHO standards were constructed using longitudinal length and weight data measured at frequent intervals. For the CDC growth charts, weight data were not available between birth and 3 months of age and the sample sizes were small for sex and age groups during the first 6 months of age.

From the CDC: "The curves were anchored at birth using national birth weight data obtained from U.S. birth certificates from 1968--1980 and 1985--1994 and birth length data from Wisconsin and Missouri birth certificates (the only states with these data available on birth certificates) from 1989--1995"

Further, the WHO uses more standard deviations of normal/average. Thus, they have a line for 3 percent and 97 percent... rather than just "below 5th" percentile.

Next time you visit your pediatrician, ask if they're using the CDC or WHO scale for your breastfed baby. If they're using CDC, ask them why they haven't updated to what is relevant to your baby.

And if you are breastfeeding and your baby is thriving and keeping on a decent growth path (not crossing "two lines" on the correct scale... and your pediatrician asks you to supplement (or stop breastfeeding) ask these questions:

• If my child was at the 95th (90th, basically opposite of the percentile they're indicating) would you recommend I put my infant on a diet?
• Can I weigh baby pre and post feeding to see how much baby is getting?
• (Especially in young babies) Can you check my baby for a tongue tie?
• What percent of infants are breastfed to 6 and 12 months here (American Academy of Pediatrics recommendation)? 24 months (WHO recommendation)?
• Do you mind if I breastfeed here?
• Is there a reason you don't have a breastfeeding-friendly waiting area with an area for moms to breastfeed?
• Do you enjoy causing mommy guilt and paranoia?

For the WHO and CDC growth charts directly, click here.

For free breastfeeding support, advice and possibly great friendships, find your local Le Leche League.

Women need support in breastfeeding, not criticism of what isn't working. Find that help and get to where you need to be so that you're comfortable with where you are in you and your baby/toddler/child's relationship.

Have confidence! According to a study in Sweden, 99 percent of women can successfully breastfeed. There are some medical conditions that can affect you, but reach out for support and know that you can give the wonderful gift of human milk to your baby/infant/toddler.


CDC= Centers for Disease Control
WHO= World Health Organization

 The Baby Book: 
 

Finding your local parenting resources

What resources do you have in your community for parents? Are they all super mainstream? My goal for this summer is to rebuild what I had started at my "main" site (www.attachedresources.com) before Russian hackers took over my message board!

There are so many books that want us to be paranoid over everything regarding parenting (and before parenting!). Media has us convinced that being a parent is entirely inconvenient (having kids isn't for everyone, and that's fine!) and if we actually want to be with our kids we're over indulgent and it is presumed our kids are spoiled and will never (EVER!) do anything independently. Thus, the reason I originally started Attached Resources.

In the mean time, watch for those gentle parents. No longer can we presume someone wearing their baby can relate on more parenting topics, but it doesn't mean you can't friend those mamas! We all can learn from each other and having friends is important in mommyhood... Unless of course you have your own commune, in which case... Invite me! :)

Just when you thought you had it covered...

Something new comes into this realm of parenting. It may be

a holiday

It may not.

It may be a developmental milestone...

or it may not.

It may be the loss of a pet.

It may not.

It may be a vacation.

It may not (what is a vacation anyway?)

It may be a lack of carrots.

It may not.

Sometimes we may not know WHAT IT IS.

We don't have to know what is going on, but getting to the root of a disruption, you can have smooth sailing until the next big thing happens. Some things really are developmental. Sometimes it does take a long time for that tooth to finally come through (and the next, and the next...)

Sometimes transitions to a new environment seem to take forever and we have to second guess ourselves again and again. It doesn't mean things aren't okay. It doesn't mean that things are - but worrying means you care. Not worrying can mean you have confidence that even if things don't work out, you are flexible enough to try something new.

Parenting isn't easy. No one said it would be. It is okay to not have the answer. It is more than okay to say "I need help." But, like we tell our toddlers. Use your words. Reach out. Find your group of like-minded mamas. Trust your gut. Listen to your children. Keep smiling when they walk in the room. And know that another something will come up and you'll need to reset. You'll need to rediscover. You'll find a way to get it covered...

Or it may not get covered: but you are there for your kids, are finding the best with what you have at that point and you are keep on, keeping on!

Dealing with our emotions as parents

It can often be difficult to discern our innate feelings from the emotions that may overwhelm our brain when we're faced with a difficult situation. Many families are facing financial issues, which, compounded with deciding between mom continuing to stay at home or going back into the career world, and/or feeling confused over what their familial goals are, can cause the even the best of relationships to get shaky.

What, then, is a family to do when their emotion-o-meter is out of whack AND the children are having difficulties of their own, which may or may not be entirely due to the parental unit's issues? It can easily become a cyclical issue where the parents are stressed, so the kids are stressed, so they act out, so the parents get up set and MORE stressed, so the kids feel it and don't know how to act around the parents anymore, so the parents get more frustrated, and on, and on.

Ever feel like taking a one-way train?
Keep your emotion's open and in check for your family!

As parents it is in our court to get control of our emotions. We cannot expect the kids to make things better, no matter how good it feels to have happy kids. The typical "family clown" comes from parents not having control and the child feeling the need to "make things nice." Instead, parents need to have time to really talk things through and come to a determination what is the (current) right direction for the family. Family meetings and open communication is also important at this time. Parents should talk candidly, yet honestly with their kids, even the young ones! Let them know that even if things are rough you are working to make things better! Let them know how helpful they've been- either way they do feel and know more than we often suspect. Plus, the more honesty that is out there, the more the bond of trust there is in the family.

Going back to my recent post about "me" time and/or MNO, keep in mind that your emotional health is important! a happy mommy is a better mommy. Be sure you're being true to you while you're being a great, attached parent to your child(ren)!

Mom's Night Out is Being Me time!

Who doesn’t love a mommy’s night out? I know that most of my friends have the full time job as stay at home mom. As an attached parent I often feel pulled to make the switch, but honestly I am not sure that I am cut out to be a SAHM. I am very type-A and, most likely due to my upbringing, need to daily know my worth, and while my kids are GREAT, I’m not sure that I am at the point in my life where I could feel my worth entirely by the hugs and kisses of my kids.

Are there any other attached working moms out there who do their best to balance work, kids, and a relationship? How do you do it? For those who are at home, where do you get your daily gratitude?

I know I am blessed with a great network of attached friends. We can get together for a few hours sans-kids (though honestly we’ve often had more nurslings with us than not for many of our mommy’s nights!) and be adults again. I know many moms who have their get togethers and have a no-kids talk, but we don’t have rules. We just have friendships! New moms join us, some are regulars, but in the end, we get “me” time. Part of being “me” is that I have kids, so I love that I can be fully “me” and still get that time with friends. This post is for those friends out there who post a request for a mom’s night, just at that right time!

comments on rear facing...

I read an awesome comment on diaperswappers the other day...

"What works for me" and "Our family does what's best for us" doesn't apply to rear facing, because physics doesn't know what your family thinks is best, nor do the laws of physics care what works for you. Keep your kiddos rear facing to the weight limit of the convertible carseat you choose- but only if you believe in the laws of physics.