Real Life Elimination Communication: Guest Post by TLD

Guest poster, TLD, shares her real life experience
with elimination Communication

I'm excited to share my Diaper Free life times two with Amanda (and her readers)!   I have two Diaper Free Blogs: Sister Blog: Diaper Free: The Other Side of the Moon (Monthly 2009-present) and Brother Blog: Pottytunities for Two (Daily 2012-present)

I know that when people ask me about how I was able to have my daughter out of diapers before a year, the most common reaction is "that must be a lot of work, I could never do it." No matter what we call it -- Elimination Communication, Diaper Free, Infant Potty Learning, Nappy Free, or Natural Infant Hygiene -- the process is not as complicated as it is to spell! You don't have to live in a tree house, wear recycled tire sandals, and weave your own cloth. Your average busy, working, modern mother with white carpet can do it. If you are as ordinary as I am, work full time or part time, live in the city, suburbs, or country, single or married, have one child or five -- it doesn't matter. The process adapts.

I want what every Mom wants...a housekeeper. Hah! Really, I am not extraordinary, I'm 38, I don't like chores, and I want my house to be clean by wiggling my nose or nodding my head. I married, work part time, I'm on a budget, and I'm the primary caregiver. The best thing about toileting children from the start is that it can be molded to fit any lifetsyle. See, no one says that modern potty training is impossible because they have x responsibilities or live in location Y. Everyone has to attend to the output eventually. Elimination Communication is something you discover and grow with, it isn't some horrible trial set ion some arbitrary date you fear in the future. Nothing is lost in trying, but there is so much to gain in even a half hearted attempt. A fellow blogger from Loving Earth Mama I remember said, "I haven't spoken to an ECer yet who didn't want to share their experience with excitement; not so with a potty training" and another Lulastic wrote, "Once you see it you can't unsee it."

Diaper Free doesn't just mean bare bums and the end of diaper rash, it means freedom from being obligated to use diapers. Diapers become tools rather than toilets. Tools that you can stop using earlier because you won't need them. So, you can EC and use diapers at the same time. I recommend not using them too long or too much for specific reasons, but that's for another blog!

What Do You Need?

All you need to experience being free of the diaper ball and chain is a baby or child 19 months and younger (EC principles can apply to older toddlers but they have diaper unlearning to do also) and a toilet. A very prime learning window is age 3 months to 6 months, but I started at birth and many others start later. Special tools and books are available but not required. The one thing you will eventually purchase is a plain, no frills potty in the style of a Baby Bjorn. It is the most versatile piece of potty gear and a worthwhile purchase whether you EC or not. I strongly discourage anything that makes a game of pottying or makes he potty a toy because that will confuse rather than help. Other than that you can use cloth diaper flats or prefolds like I do, or the thousand and one receiving blankets most parents have lying around the house, towels if you prefer, a suitable sized bowl or other vessel (I use a deli container for my newborn), and some time. If you have an older mobile baby toddler, or boy, cheap cotton training pants can help, but you can EC without them. Use Parental Ingenuity, utilize what you have on hand, and EC is 100% free.

How Do You...you know...Know?

You likely already have an inkling. You might know the "face" just before your baby poops, you might now that when you toddler stands very still they are peeing, or you might notice that first thing in the morning they have several wet diapers in a row, or you might think you smell a poo, check, not see any, and 5 minutes later you are gagging as you clean a squirming tush (phantom poo). If you never experienced any of these, then the easiest pee catches are right after a long nap or long feed. During a diaper change is also a good time for a potty break. Start there and you can expand potty breaks as you gain more confidence. Don't be afraid to go bare for short stretches at first especially with newborns, it is easier to see pee frequency without a diaper, and if necessary with coverless cloth diapers or receiving blankets. Cleaning up a piddle you are prepared for or setting a baby on a wee pad/blanket/towel/prefold is easier than one would think at first! Try it and see for yourself. Make a potty break a part of an ordinary day, just like a routine diaper change. Read blogs from busy moms who EC like one of my favorites In Her Chucks. It takes mere moments to try and see what happens.

What About the Mess?

A lot of people are concerned about "mess". Kids are messy. Even if you diaper full time, every day for 3 years -- there's going to be a mess at some point when you least expect it. It doesn't matter when you start to deal with elimination. There is going to be poop and pee in places you don't want it. On the bright side, the pee and poop when you toilet under a year is pretty small. Newborn poop and pee is even kind of "cute" in the way baby pukey spit up is "cute" but toddler puke is not! By "cute" I mean way smaller and less...odiferious and chunky...than 2 year and 3 year expulsions! A pre-mobile baby also stays where you put them, a small mobile baby doesn't go far, a wobbly toddler tends to stick around the parental orbit, while an autonomous older toddler is quite a bit harder to wrangle. Elimination Communication prepares you! You can EC even if you have carpet. You prepare by buying a cheap waterproof tablecloth or you if you are crafty make a wee-wee surface mat for the carpet. That way you won't be stressed and will be free to observe relaxed.

I Work Full Time/I'm A Single Parent. Can I EC?

Yes. You can start by doing it when you are home during the week and days off. Once you have a good rhythm and understand the process better, if you have an in-home day care/baby minder ask them to try at "key" time like after a nice long nap or if the baby can sign potty or say it have them respect the request. It takes no more time to remove a diaper to put a asking baby on the potty than it does to change a diaper. Regular day care centers are more challenging depending on where you are, but it doesn't hurt to ask -- especially if it is an older toddler who is cueing potty needs on their own. Join the free Diaper Free Baby forum at diaperfreebaby.orgor on facebook and ask women who've done EC full time, they will have the best advice.

I've Got X Number of Kids. Can I EC?

Absolutely. The older the children are the more likely they are to be of assistance once you explain to them what to look for! More eyes really help. I have my 2.5 year old daughter empty her baby brother's potty bowl and she helps me potty him sometimes when she isn't terribly busy doing something interesting like catching "shoe fish" with her daddy's computer mouse.

How Much Time Is This Going to Take?

Less time than it takes to change a diaper, clean the creases and crevices, wrangle the boy attachment, wrap the diaper in the diaper genie or cloth diaper pail, re-diaper, and re-dress. Elimination Communication isn't something "new" you will do every day, it is simply a differemt approach to dealing with the inevitable. EC is proactive, not reactive! Any diaper you save by pottying indtead of diapering is time saved and money in your pocket.

What about out public?

You continue to communicate, treating a diaper as an article of clothing not a portable toilet. It is there to protect property in case of a miss and to accomodate smaller bladders for travel. It's like anything you do daily. It becomes a habit before you leave and/or when you arrive at destination. Dress a baby or toddler the right way and even loos with no changing facilities aren't an issue. It is the same behavior you'd have to do if the child were 3 or 4. They can't go to public facilities unaided either. Clean public facilities are readily availble! I keep a travel potty with me or in my car and there have been many times there was no changing table, or it was in an occupied stall, or there was a queue -- since I could use any stall any where to take care of elimination for both toddler and baby it is not a problem.

Is it that simple?

Mileage varies as with anything, but yes it is that easy. Preparation makes a difference in how you perceive the process. As I wrote this entry, I knew I was not going to be able to respond quickly enough to my baby, so I set up my semi-water resistent picnic blanket outside, put down a few prefolds, and my naked 4 month old son on top. He's a roller and inch-wormer. No worries. I sat in the shade with him and typed. Nothing to clean up but some damp cloth prefolds and a quick swipe because nothing much was on his skin. The other day I had a friend ove and pottied my son as usual and she said, "Wow, that's so simple. It didn't seem that easy to me when I read the book."

I hope I've inspired some readers to take off the diaper even if for a quick potty break. Nothing is quite like the thrill of the first catch when you think it can't possibly work for you.

Thank you to TLD for sharing her experience with the readers here at www.attachedmoms.com. We appreciate it! If you want to guest blog, please contact me and we can see availability as well as how we can make your topic fit www.attachedmoms.com.

Piddle Pads for Elimination Communication - Potty Training Bed Pads

Wet beds are no fun. Washing sheets is not in my top 10 list, and neither is airing out mattresses. Mattress protectors are common, but not all mattress protectors are created equal.

Here are a few things to look for:

- waterproof versus water resistance (AKA, will the pee go through)
- chemicals used in processing
- other toxic issues

Rubber mattress covers may be extremely water proof, but you have to worry about puddles AND the fact that a face-down baby may not be able to breathe. If you decide to still use rubber or plastic, put an extra barrier between the sheet and the mattress, such as a thick cotton towel.

Plastic often contains multiple chemicals. Breathing in chemical for 12+ hours per day is not a good idea. Consider using items that are processed without chemicals.

Most regular mattresses are chock full of chemicals. Wool is naturally fire resisistant, so fire retardants such as PBDEs are not required in the creation of those products.

Personally we have Naturepedic - Waterproof Pad and we do not have leak problems. It protects our mattress and made of organic cotton that is extremely tightly woven. I am confident in the brand and love that it is natural, free of chemicals and keeps our mattresses from needing a scrub when we have accidents or leaks. 

We have a front loader and they wash easily in "bulky" mode. I usually line dry, but they do dry in the drier but do take a bit longer than a standard poly-based mattress protector.

What's the right way to protect that expensive mattress?

Check out the great sale on these non-toxic, wool-based (may need to be lanolized) piddle pads.

I put this cl ue twice so you can understand that I put all my clues at the bottom. Both lead to the same place... ! the first week of august is this month. which CODE makes me boycott a large conglomerate? look for something with pfizer in the topic

Elimination Communication - EC - Infant Potty Training, Diaper Free Babies

What is it about spending $.25-.40 cents per poop or pee that Americans just love? I mean we might as well just throw it in the trash, unless of course you're using cloth diapers.

Cloth diapers can save a family thousands of dollars. While not all of us cloth diaper for the economic reasons, others do it for the environment, allergies, or to avoid the chemicals in paper diapers.

However, some of us hate laundry.

If that's the case, consider a diaper free baby. What's that? Just that - a baby free of diapers. At some point in your parenting career, whether you choose to use cloth or paper, you'll get to a point where you're sick of diapers. And, unless you're willing to wait for your kiddo to really be ready for potty learning, pressuring a child to "go" just doesn't work well, and there are indications that pressure tactics aren't effective (not does it help with the bond you have with your child). But, elimination communication really is different. Babies aren't born wanting to pee on themselves. They don't WANT to be in their own excrement. Really. Ask most parents... the moment you put the new diaper on, out comes the wee-wee. Open the diaper, and pee in the eye. It happens. 

With our daughter we started around 7 months with potty time - we were on vacation in Cancun, I brought along just around 10 cloth diapers and figured we'd spend time at the ocean sans-diaper and the rest I'd rinse/wash by hand and hang to dry in the sun. Well at around that time we noticed that she always woke from her nap DRY. So we used that opportunity to just start putting her on the potty when she awoke. We had good success with this and she was signaling to us from an early age when she had to go and would often wait until we put her on.

Shown with the BABYBJÖRN Potty Chair, Blue

With our son we've been less consistent, but we did start putting him on the potty when he started sitting. However, he's a different personality and honestly, for some reason, prefers his cloth diapers (especially his apple diapers!), but will sit on the potty if someone's in there with him and if he's not just waking up! I know if we'd been more consistent (and likely with one kiddo it was easier), we'd be catching more, if not all of his eliminations. One option is the Waterproof Bassinet Pad but for a larger baby or toddler consider Fitted Crib Pad.

Shown with the Itty Bitty Potty

Elimination communication versus potty training/learning is basically any time before they're really able to verbalize their need, etc. Start with that dry time and keep it low stress. When he goes, even if it isn't on the potty, show him the signal and say "potty" or "sss" (if he's not yet verbal). The signal is generally the pinky finger.

We haven't ventured much into night time EC, but if you do, use a wool or cotton piddle pad, on their sleeping area, and on top of that put a towel. They sleep there. If you co-sleep, and they start moving around, put them on the potty. Often this does mean there's a potty in the bedroom.

Of course, if you do sleep share, keep it safe and only do it if you are comfortable and otherwise CAN share sleep safely.

Happy potty time!

The cost of water and cloth diapering

There are some questions out there regarding saving $$ and cloth diapering. The Real Diaper Association is a great resource. On a popular cloth diapering site, someone indicated that since changing to cloth diapers they're using 4000 more gallons of water each month. That doesn't make sense to me, so I started looking at some "averages"


The average load on a top loader is 40-45 gallons per cycle, while a front loader uses around 20 gallons.

I read that in the US, the average cost per gallon  across the US is $0.002.

So if you are using 2400 gallons per month for washing your diapers double daily... then it should be costing you around $4.80 per month to do so... http://www.epa.gov/ogwdw/wot/pdfs/book_waterontap_full.pdf

However, very few people I know wash daily... so for an extra $4/month and possibly $3 for detergent (Mine costs around $12 and I go through it every 4 or so months).... that, the environmental impact and the fact that I HATE TOXIC chemicals... I'll say yeah... keep those sposies....

Rockin Green




Another link.

Okay you may have to spend a few pennies per load for the hot water but yeah... it still doesn't add up!

comments on rear facing...

I read an awesome comment on diaperswappers the other day...

"What works for me" and "Our family does what's best for us" doesn't apply to rear facing, because physics doesn't know what your family thinks is best, nor do the laws of physics care what works for you. Keep your kiddos rear facing to the weight limit of the convertible carseat you choose- but only if you believe in the laws of physics.

Diapers, diapers, diapers

Allmost all of our stash is comprised of goodmama diapers. Definitely love the squishiness of them and of course how well they work. OBV on the baby's bum - gotta love it!