Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Does your state allow seclusion and restraints in schools

Disclaimer: This post is not meant to say that school teachers are abusive - this is meant to show that parents do not always know what is happening to their children in schools. It happens in public and private schools - it happens in inner cities, it happens in suburbia... Laws are not consistent and parents should at least be aware of what is required and what may be happening in their child's school.


The Autism National Committee put together a publication on safe schools that focuses on the reality of seclusion. While a padded room may be better than an emptied out closet, less restrictive options aren't necessarily required by law and it doesn't appear in the Arizona-Deer Valley school district case that there is anything in place to ensure that the use of the restraints are appropriate and necessary. The Autism national committee's report is pretty eye opening.

For example:
- Alaska, Iowa, Michigan, Montana, New York, Washington allow restraints for "educational disruption" among other things. So, a kid who gets excited and disrupts the class could legally be restrained?

Luckily if you're in Georgia, Nevada, Pennsylvania, and Texas seclusion is illegal. A child must be able to leave a room (imagine if there were say a fire and the child was locked in alone?!)

Only Alaska, Arizona, Delaware,  Florida, Hawaii, Idaho, Kentucky, Mississippi, North Dakota, New Hampshire, New Jersey,  New Mexico, Ohio, Utah, Virginia, and West Virginia require that the secluded child have access to staff... to say, let them know they're "calm enough" or say have to go to the bathroom. But really, take a look at that report. It is eye opening. One would think that say access to food or water or ventilation or lighting would be required, but things like that aren't necessarily guaranteed.

I understand that schools are not psych wards and teachers aren't trained, nor should they be expected to, work with children who need psychological help to remain in a classroom. A public report by American Association of School Administrators indicates that seclusion and restraints allow children to stay in public schools. But, kids need protection. From the AASA report:


In early 2012, AASA conducted a randomized survey of school administrators across the U.S. on how often seclusion and restraint was used in their school districts and whether school personnel  were injured as a result of working with students who needed to be secluded or restrained. The  results of our survey are as follows:
  • 10 percent of respondents used seclusion and restraint more than 5% of the time in a single school year. 
  • 97 percent of respondents said that staff who perform seclusion and restraint are either trained or certified in how to perform safe and appropriate seclusion and restraint. 
  • 95 percent of school personnel who perform seclusion and restraint are trained in prevention and conflict de-escalation or positive behavioral interventions and supports.
  • 25 percent of school districts reported that at least 20 times in the last school year, an administrator, teacher, paraprofessional, aide or other school professional trained in proper 
  • seclusion and restraint techniques has been physically threatened or attacked by a student. 30 percent of school districts responded that within the last five years, there have been at 
  • least five hospitalizations of school staff due to unanticipated behavioral outbursts by students.
Are the procedures really the least restrictive? Are they only used in instances of extreme violence?  Is the use of restraints or seclusion really de-escalating dangerous situations? In my days working direct care in mental health, the use of restrains and seclusion were very few and it was told to us again and again to use the LEAST restrictive procedure to assist in a situation where a client needed de-escalation. Yes, there were other people in the group homes who had their own reasons for being in a the homes, and they needed to be protected (and often prevented from also needing assistance in keeping calm in the situation). But the idea was that we had to find ways to prevent issues and, even in the middle of a major violent break down, we had to remember that restraints were to be used sparingly.

According to a US Dept of Education chart (found here) the following states do not have  guidance/regulation on the use of seclusion and restraints:

- Arizona, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Kansas, Kentucky (has recommended best practices), Louisiana, New Jersey, Oklahoma, West Virginia (for pre-k students they have a policy) (*In honesty, that report might be out of date, and I did just read through the report some-what quickly, so read it for yourself. CTRL+F your state!)

I highly recommend all parents read to see what is even regulated in your state. Is having no law bad? I'm not one for high government regulation, but if it isn't against the law to restrain a child because of blowing bubbles in their milk (happened in Wisconsin), or placing a child in a room with no light... and then there isn't even a law that says you, as a parent, has to be notified... Where do we stand?

What about for kids? As a working parent, I know that if my child was not able to handle a day in school, I would have to be called to help take care of my kid. Even a stay-at-home parent would have to do juggling if a child was sent home instead of placed in seclusion or otherwise restrained. In my situation, if my child "needed" seclusion, I may even have to consider ways to ensure my child received an education, even if it meant modifying my life (say home schooling and working nights), or otherwise. I'm not saying all families could or should change their lives if a child isn't behaving or enjoying school. Nor is it always possible. In the AZ case brought to light, it appears that a hole-filled procedure wasn't followed, so how do we know this padded room is being used sparingly or even as a least restrictive option for kids who need help? Without a full story how can a family put their child into this situation?

Now remember that report isn't just about elementary schools, so a 17 year old would likely be pretty powerful... but a 7 year old? Is it necessary to have such extreme options for elementary students? Should a psychologist be on staff in locations where there are padded rooms? What are your thoughts?

Real Life Attachment Parenting: A padded room too much for your elementary school student?

Friday, June 22, 2012

Host an au pair - a new venture and weekend savings!

Child care for an attached family

Making a child care decision can be daunting.
While many believe attachment parenting is only for families with a SAHM, that isn't the case. The tenets of attachment parenting mean that working moms probably "need" to be more attached than not so that the time spent together IS meaningful. But making the child care decision can be a tough one.
As an attached mom and a selective-vaccinating family, regular day care just doesn't work for us. I don't like the potential issues with behaviors from other kids, illnesses (and what do you do when your kids are sick FROM daycare?) And, I like to know how AND decide exactly how my kids are being disciplined. 

    We shy away from bribery (when we can, at times... we do what we gotta do)
  • We don't like rewards for basic things (no M&Ms for going poop, no stickers for allowing us to comb hair), and
  • We don't like the food choices at most daycare/preschools

When we just had our daughter we went through a gamut of nannies. Some good, some not so good. But we went through a few and it just didn't seem to be the right fit. When we started calculating costs for child care for two kids, there was just no way we could pass up the cost and flexibility of hosting an au pair. For the past 18 months we've hosted from Germany. We've had ups and downs, but mostly ups and we get to continue with OUR parenting choices. Plus, we can build date nights into the 45 hours alloted for each week :) 

If you or someone you know is looking for flexible, live-in care, you may want to consider an au pair. Plus this weekend, there are some savings that I'm sure you'd be interested in. For around $8.00/hr (at 45 hours per week), you can have your own customized child care. Hosting isn't for everyone, it is a relationship you're building when you welcome someone into your home. As a host parent myself, I can definitely help families know what it is they're looking for when interviewing.

If hosting an au pair sounds like something that may fit your needs, please let me know!


r.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Boys can dance too!

My tutu loving 21 month old...

Not sure what this dance move is called, but he loves it!
I really don't see how a parent can say "no" to boy dressing up with his sister, or even on his own!


Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Overindulgent parenting

Many people seem to believe that being an attached parent means giving into your child's every whim. This is not the case, but all parents, even attached ones, can cross the line into being over indulent.




There are lessons to be learned in wanting your child to have access to many of the world's finer things and knowing that there is a lesson in teaching a child to save, by tracking your expenses and saving up for items, even if you have the means to purchase the items.



I, for one, know that I can do better with not buying "because I like it and I can" syndrome. How about you?


 

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Respect and compliance

http://www.attachedresources.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=156&t=181
Respect is different than compliance.

Just because someone hears you it doesn't mean they are listening.

Just because you love someone, it doesn't mean you always do, feel or think the same as that person.

A child who only complies, does not learn to think, discern or exchange for growth.  The next time your child is "defiant", while you are trying to fake a smile because you're in a rush to leave that big-box store, remind yourself that there is good to having a child who wants to explore, think, and challenge... but then find a way to gently and respectfully encourage your child to see why you must leave, rather than wish your child would listen better....