Parenting is as easy as riding a bike

So we're 2.5 weeks in to night weaning our two year old and I'm wondering... is it easy to do?

I'd say no. It doesn't have to be done. There's no medical authority out there saying "you must night wean" - but we all know that a happy mama is a better mama. Mama isn't all that matters, but balance in the family is better than an over indulgent parent who self-sacrifices beyond belief.

This isn't a post that tells you how night X was of night weaning. Instead, it is a post reminding us all to be gentle with ourselves and to find that parenting groove that allows us to connect with our kiddos.

When I'm gentle, loving and mindful of ME, I'm a much better mama. Whether it is a water aerobics class, a moms night out or a pedicure, mamas, be loving to yourself.

Know your limits.

Get to know your needs.




An attached mama is already hard enough on herself without being stressed and forgetful of her own needs. It doesn't mean, spending every night away from your kids, weaning your 4 month old or sleep training an infant.

Baby's needs have to come first early on. Baby's are helpless and need mama (and daddy too). If you're thinking of getting pregnant and then let your baby cry it out every night or hire a $25 sleep trainer, you need to consider getting a dog instead. Of course my animal lovers and vegan friends may even have you reconsider that thought as well... but the fact is babies NEED mama. When babies begin to be toddlers, then start to get more for yourself. Don't forget who you are.
Don't forget to ALLOW parenthood to change you.

You're more than mommy, but you're not less of a woman. Allow parenthood to be part of your definition. Wear the mommy badge with pride.

Parenting has a huge learning curve - you need to learn it. Perhaps you need some training wheels - that's your mama support group - your "hype" group. Those people who help you get through the difficult times. The ones who help you meet your goals (not the ones who tell you it is okay to give up, because you CHOSE to be a parent afterall!), the ones who stop by with a meal when you're family is all sick. Those are the women you want with you. Find them, branch out. Find some girls you really sync with.

Once you know those training wheels, pass them on down to another mama. Be their support. Teach them to love being a mom.

Reach out, connect and be.

Take off those training wheels and let the wind be in your hair.

Enjoy, relax and find that pace with which you are comfortable.

(Imaginary) Friend Play date

Apparently imaginary friends need a lot of paper for their craft. I'm unsure of the actual count, especially since my daughter only knows one of these friend's names (Olivia)... but i sure hope they clean up afterward!

So my daughter's normal in having imaginary friends. So far the only thing we're a bit iffy on is her desire to open the front door to let them in... Thankfully we have child locks up high that mean even if she does open the first two locks... the third latch is too high, even with a stool.

Finding your local parenting resources

What resources do you have in your community for parents? Are they all super mainstream? My goal for this summer is to rebuild what I had started at my "main" site (www.attachedresources.com) before Russian hackers took over my message board!

There are so many books that want us to be paranoid over everything regarding parenting (and before parenting!). Media has us convinced that being a parent is entirely inconvenient (having kids isn't for everyone, and that's fine!) and if we actually want to be with our kids we're over indulgent and it is presumed our kids are spoiled and will never (EVER!) do anything independently. Thus, the reason I originally started Attached Resources.

In the mean time, watch for those gentle parents. No longer can we presume someone wearing their baby can relate on more parenting topics, but it doesn't mean you can't friend those mamas! We all can learn from each other and having friends is important in mommyhood... Unless of course you have your own commune, in which case... Invite me! :)

Just when you thought you had it covered...

Something new comes into this realm of parenting. It may be

a holiday

It may not.

It may be a developmental milestone...

or it may not.

It may be the loss of a pet.

It may not.

It may be a vacation.

It may not (what is a vacation anyway?)

It may be a lack of carrots.

It may not.

Sometimes we may not know WHAT IT IS.

We don't have to know what is going on, but getting to the root of a disruption, you can have smooth sailing until the next big thing happens. Some things really are developmental. Sometimes it does take a long time for that tooth to finally come through (and the next, and the next...)

Sometimes transitions to a new environment seem to take forever and we have to second guess ourselves again and again. It doesn't mean things aren't okay. It doesn't mean that things are - but worrying means you care. Not worrying can mean you have confidence that even if things don't work out, you are flexible enough to try something new.

Parenting isn't easy. No one said it would be. It is okay to not have the answer. It is more than okay to say "I need help." But, like we tell our toddlers. Use your words. Reach out. Find your group of like-minded mamas. Trust your gut. Listen to your children. Keep smiling when they walk in the room. And know that another something will come up and you'll need to reset. You'll need to rediscover. You'll find a way to get it covered...

Or it may not get covered: but you are there for your kids, are finding the best with what you have at that point and you are keep on, keeping on!

Mom's Night Out is Being Me time!

Who doesn’t love a mommy’s night out? I know that most of my friends have the full time job as stay at home mom. As an attached parent I often feel pulled to make the switch, but honestly I am not sure that I am cut out to be a SAHM. I am very type-A and, most likely due to my upbringing, need to daily know my worth, and while my kids are GREAT, I’m not sure that I am at the point in my life where I could feel my worth entirely by the hugs and kisses of my kids.

Are there any other attached working moms out there who do their best to balance work, kids, and a relationship? How do you do it? For those who are at home, where do you get your daily gratitude?

I know I am blessed with a great network of attached friends. We can get together for a few hours sans-kids (though honestly we’ve often had more nurslings with us than not for many of our mommy’s nights!) and be adults again. I know many moms who have their get togethers and have a no-kids talk, but we don’t have rules. We just have friendships! New moms join us, some are regulars, but in the end, we get “me” time. Part of being “me” is that I have kids, so I love that I can be fully “me” and still get that time with friends. This post is for those friends out there who post a request for a mom’s night, just at that right time!