Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The Natural Pacifier vs another way to be detached

I will first disclose that neither of my children have been paci children. Unless you look at what the word pacifier:

Definition of PACIFIER

: one that pacifies
: a usually nipple-shaped device for babies to suck or bite on 
So I am a pacifier. I attempt to pacify my children when necessary:


verb \ˈpa-sə-ˌfī\

Definition of PACIFY

transitive verb
a : to allay the anger or agitation of : soothe <pacify a crying child>
I do soothe my children. My children have a need to suck, and most still do at the age of 2.5 (according to this article).  
So, when it comes to parents who choose not to be their child's pacifier, they instead turn to a rubber "dummy." I hear so many parents complain how young children lose their pacifier and then scream out. If you're not sleep sharing, I'm sure it must be difficult... with young babies on the other side of that house... to keep them pacified. 
So, here comes a new invention - the BEENI BABY hat! Yes, a hat that attaches the pacifier to the babies' face, unable to fall away.
One more way to be detached. 
No I'm not the mom of twins, triplets, etc, but I do know an item that totally is anti-attachment parenting when I see one. 


Jamie said...

Oy, that is terrible. WHat if they don't want the damn thing in their mouth? What if they are choking and can't get the fluid out because they can't get the damn paci out??

Chrissy said...

Wow. I knew a couple that would swaddle their child all the way up over his mouth so a pacifier would stay in it. These are the same parents who's morals I have questioned too many times to continue even a civil FB "friendship" with. I had to delete them from my life before I flipped out on them or called CPS.

ChewyMomma said...

Our twins were given a pacifier in the NICU the day they were born. Our son had to have his wrapped in the blanket to hold it in his mouth because he hated it. But they were SO SURE he needed it. When he came home, I became his pacifier. My daughter (the other twin) still has hers today. She has some sensory issues, and taking it from her would be too much for her at this point. We're trying to teach her to go without it during the day (gradually), and to only have it at night or in the van (when needed). With the twins, even before we knew of our daughter's sensory issues, there were many times that she got it instead of being left to cry with no way to soothe herself. (I only have two arms, and couldn't always hold/feed both at once.) I wished many times that my son would just take one, so he didn't have to scream the entire time I was feeding his sister. :(

They spent over 2 months in the NICU, and were too small and too weak to nurse, and still needed that sucking motion to be able to soothe themselves. (I lived in another city, and don't drive. I didn't have the option of living at the hospital until the last 16 days of their stay, so only got to see them a few hours a day.)

I just wanted to point out that there are times that a soother is useful, even if it's not ideal. Obviously having babies 10 weeks early is not ideal. Nor is living an hour from the hospital. Having to give them a pacifier because they were so tiny and needed something to suck on was not ideal. But I'm glad there was a way to help them feel just a little bit better.

Our new baby has a pacifier too, and that's a whole different ball of wax. She only gets it in the van (when I obviously cannot pick her up), or when I absolutely cannot pick her up at home(when I'm trying to do something for the twins that uses both of my hands, like change their bums). I'd rather give her the pacifier than have her cry until I can get to her. (One mommy, three kids, dad is at work all the time. It happens.)

I do understand your post, however. I have seen (a million times) someone stick a pacifier in their baby's mouth to keep from having to feed/comfort/hold/pick them up, and that breaks my heart.

If I only had one child, she wouldn't even have a pacifier at all. She wouldn't need one. But I had three in 2 1/2 years. Please, PLEASE don't think that all children with a pacifier have detached parents. Some of those kids could have sensory issues, or a mom with more kids than arms. xoxo

Amanda said...

Chewymomma, Thank you for joining us :)

I definitely agree and even posted that I am not the mom of twins or triplets. I definitely don't feel that paci kids are neglectful, but I do find it hard to swallow that we need PRODUCTS to keep the pacifiers in the mouths of children. Yes, at times it may be a momentary necessity, but chances are if a child cannot keep the pacifier in their mouth on their own (for sucking/sensory, etc), then there are larger issues at play that may need some medical attention...

Amanda said...

and it turns out... they've been recalled!

Asphyxiation Hazard

The following product safety recall was voluntarily conducted by the firm in cooperation with the CPSC. Consumers should stop using the product immediately unless otherwise instructed. It is illegal to resell or attempt to resell a recalled consumer product.

Name of Product: Beeni Baby Hats.
Units: About 35.
Distributor: Kahn Enterprises LLC, Mendota Heights, Minn.
Hazard: A baby could spit up during use, posing an asphyxiation hazard.
Incidents/Injuries: None reported.
Description: The recalled baby hats are made of cotton and spandex. They have two straps sewn to the sides and a removeable plastic pacifier holder. The hat is available in sizes small, medium and large, and in pink, blue, green, flower print, blue stripe and blue print. Model number 125867 is on a tag sewn into the back inner rim of the cap.
Sold at: Beeni Baby’s website from January 2009 through May 2011 for about $25.
Manufactured in: United States
Remedy: Consumers should immediately stop using the hats and contact Kahn Enterprises to receive a full refund. Kahn Enterprises will provide consumers with a postage paid label to return the product. The firm is directly contacting consumers who purchased the recalled baby hats.
Consumer Contact: For additional information, contact Kahn Enterprises at, visit the firm’s website at, or call the firm collect at (612) 310-4053.